King of bloke and bird
by Maroon-dragon
Summary: Jasper tells you his story of his life and his thoughts about it...and everyone in it. I did twist the story around a bit in the end so if fit my purposes...


Hi this is my entry for the for the love of Jasper competition…

"**For the Love of Jasper" One-Shot Contest **

**Title: King of Bloke and Bird**

**Pen name: Maroon-dragon**

**Existing work: The weakness in me**

** Broken down together (not finished yet)**

**Primary Players: Bella and Jasper, from Jasper his point of view.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and the song belongs to Robbie Williams. **

**To see other entries in the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, please visit the C2:  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/For_the_Love_of_Jasper_Contest/72564/**

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I had been a rising star among the men in the army. The civil war had given me a way to enter the history books. The sudden death of a great mayor. Mayor Whitlock, the youngest one in history. Now I was nothing. I was pathetic. Killing for pleasure yet in brought me none. The thirst was quelled but my heart wasn't**. **

_**What you do speaks so loud  
I cannot hear what you say  
Except for the occassional word  
Sulphates a sentimental sight it bothers me  
No longer king of bloke and bird**_

I was no longer the best. I was the trusted right man of Maria and in some ways I was her lover. I was envied by many for my looks and the power I had, but I felt or heard nothing of it. I was no longer the best. I was a killer that killed for nothing anymore. Their emotions killed me inside. So perhaps I did kill for a reason; I killed to kill myself. To kill the human that was inside of me, because I wasn't human. I was an animal, not even that. I was a monster. Mayor Jasper Whitlock, the youngest mayor ever, was nothing more than a lowlife monster. No longer did I rule. I was now a humble servant of my own tortured mind.  
_**  
All of my life**_  
_**Searching hard  
Down in the wires  
Of love**_

I wanted it, no I craved what Maria gave me. I always knew I was quite handsome. In the army I was admired for my skill with the sword, but when we went out for a night to rewind I was admired for whole other reasons. Yet I wanted something more. More than the meaningless flings I had in the bars. Maria gave me that, some steadiness in my life full of rage. The only emotions I ever had encountered after becoming this thing were rage, fear, shock and all the other emotions that belong to the blackest side of a human, or a vampire. Yet when my darkest side was close to consuming me I saw Peter and Charlotte love each other and I knew there had to be something else out there.

_**Summer me now summer my life away  
Summon me on to another day**_

A hand through the clouds keeps  
knocking me down  
It's no less than I deserve  
They built museums I don't visit them  
I've made enough trouble of my own

And so, as the days past,. I went with them. I felt like I was asking for torture. Their emotions were so strong and I wanted that. To experience it for myself and not second handed. I tried to get a bit better. Tried to get out of my depression in the civilized north. But all I had ever known was instant gratification and I needed just that. There was no question about if there was another way to get food. I needed human blood. Animal's blood smelt wrong and I was so used to the heavenly taste of human blood. I sank deeper and deeper into the ocean of my depression. The emotions of those insignificant humans brought back memories I had to relive too many times. The gross sweet smell of burning newborns, their screams as I ripped them apart, Maria arching into me as I showed her my "other" skills. The scared feelings that radiated off them were terrible but not the worst part. It was the emotion in the end of acceptance and the small smile on their face that accompanied it. They were sad that they had died but they had lived a happy life. They didn't have the nightmares I was troubled with; I didn't need to sleep to relive those memories. They were etched into my mind as the horrors unfolded themselves. I loved history because I knew I had my own, yet I didn't visit the museums. I didn't need to read what they had placed under my picture, because whatever it was it could never explain the hell I had ended up in._**  
**_

_**Into the night  
Searching hard  
Look for the light  
Of love  
**_

I went out at night, looking for a way to get my other urges full filled. They were great, the whores, I admit and I learned to keep myself in check so I wouldn't break their bones while I fucked them. My "skills" I had never lost and the fact that I was stunning made them all too willing. There were a few that recoiled at the sight of my scars when they felt them on my skin, the last thing those people would feel would be my teeth sinking into their neck and draining them. Others I would fully pleasure until they were nearly a sleep. Nobody cared, they were only whores. Yet I cared more for them as their death wasn't accepted as my other "normal" victims.

Then there was that one day. It was a rainy day so for once I decide to go outside and act normal. It was a stupid coincidence that I stepped into that specific diner and yet I did. I smelled her before I saw her. She was small, energetic and the emotions that came of her drew me towards her. Before I could take a step she had already walked up to me. "You've kept me waiting a long time." She smiled. My southern drawl and manners hadn't vanished much. "I'm sorry m'dam." And I took her hand. She would change my future I knew it. For the first time I felt hope and a small flare of what Charlotte and Peter had made me feel. We left for the Cullens that same week and she explained a lot to me. We were comfortable together, and on the way towards my destiny she showed me to eat animals for the first time. She was unlike anything I had ever met before and I enjoyed it. It gave me a bit of peace from all the struggles I was facing. As she continued talking about the Cullens I felt a certain apprehension. Would that be my life. Being in a group of vampires I did not know. A group that was weak from drinking too much animal blood.

I was shocked when I first saw the Cullens. They didn't look weak to me, they only seemed vital and most of all happy. In the years following that they proved me just how strong they really were. I made many mistakes along the way, yet they never strayed from their diet. I felt so weak. I married Alice, a mistake I never should have made. I had known she loved me so much more than I loved her. Yet I did it. I craved it so much. I needed that feeling that she had given me the day she had entered my life. She was like a gulp of breath after being suffocated for too long. It was an ironic idea seeing as I didn't need to breath any more. I had lost so much humanity that sometimes I lost it. I needed to be alone at those moments, locking myself away in the library. The books always made me feel calm. The way I could leave my terrible life. In every book I traveled to different times, other worlds, different people. I could lose myself in them. The others never understood. Emmett and Alice had too much energy to keep themselves absorbed in a book for longer than an hour. Rosalie was too busy with her looks and other things. She designed clothes and such. Edward felt the same passion I had only in music; He could get lost in a complicated piece of Mozart. I could understand his passion for the piano as I had it for the guitar.

_**Summer me now summer my life away  
Summon me on to another day**_

Summer the evening, winter ways  
are falling down again  
I sing from the chaos in my heart, my heart

I wrote a lot of songs in that time. Trying to find some form of release. I hated Edward the most in the beginning. The other all had a lot of positive energy flowing around them but not him. He was so depressed and was very touchy when it came to things that went wrong. I hated that. Whenever I slipped up I would feel his resentment towards me grow even more. I was a danger to the family, why should I stay there? But he never spoke a word of it. He loved Alice like a sister, perhaps even a little bit more. He never acted upon it seeing as she was married to me. Alice was also drawn to Edward.

I had once hit her. She had entered the library when I was in one of my darker days. I had warned them all to stay away. To let me vent it on something else, so I wouldn't go against one of them. They had all understood. But her love and care for me had made her go in anyway. I had lost it when she asked me if I was fine. I would never be fine! Didn't she understand? The moment my hand collided with her cheek I knew I had done something terrible. Edward was inside in a second knocking me out of the way before I could strike again. I never would. She looked at me with those broken eyes, but worst of all she blamed herself for the monster that I was. I left the house that day. I went up to the mountains to the very top. The everlasting snow sparkled in the sun light and so did I. I stayed there for 20 days and nights contemplating what I had done. I hunted five times in those days.

The foxes up there tasted heavenly. They were the best thing I had eaten in a long while. Yet there was one I could not eat. It was a silver female fox. She was stunning and when she looked up at me with frightened brown eyes I just crumpled down and let her run. Those eyes were the thing that kept me sane in all the years after that. It was strange that an animal could make all the difference. She had been a beauty, but so were a lot of others. What had made that one fox so different? I mean I had always shown utmost respect for nature and it's animals. More than I had sometimes shown for people or vampires. But the fox had something. That had been my turning point. I made it down the slope back to humanity. I apologized to Alice for a thousand times and she understood. She accepted me with open arms. Even Edward his anger towards me had diminished. Perhaps Alice had talked to him.

When we visited the Denali clan they were obviously interested in my history but I could not tell them. The Cullens had been tough enough, they didn't need to know of my evil deeds. I was not only scared of their opinion but also of the feeling of rejection they might project. Tanya had been obviously attracted to Edward and as blunt as he was he declined. She then turned her attention to me even though she knew I was married to one of her friends. Alice didn't like her very much after that.

I mainly hunted in that time. Making sure to be out of the house as much as possible. The Denali clan lived in a very secluded area and I loved it there. No humans to tamper with my bloodlust but plenty of animals. The brown eyes of the fox still haunted me and even Edward had asked me about them. I politely told him to get the fuck out of my head.

We went back to forks not much later. I spent another three weeks up that mountain and after a while the fox returned. For some reason she liked me, unlike other animals. It started out slowly she would sit in the bushes watching me sit there in the pale sunlight. After that she moved closer walking around me. Then finally she sat down beside me and when I held out my hand to pet her she let me. As we sat there in the moonlight that night I realized that she was even more beautiful up close. Her brown eyes contained several different shades and her fur gleamed a silver white in the light that shone upon it. With every move she made I saw her muscles ripple under her skin. She was gorgeous. It may seem weird that I liked this animal so much, but it was nice to know that something trusted me completely. She didn't flip out when I came close she just closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. She was a strange little animal but then again nothing was normal in this world. I wasn't normal.

_**Then comes the evening that  
makes life worth living  
Shoving the shoes out in the light  
She walks in, I can hear her**_

Then_ she_ entered my life. She wasn't plain but she wasn't strikingly beautiful either. I had seen her in my history class bend over the book she was reading. Her smell was so delicious that I could almost feel her blood in my mouth. She was sinful. The next time I saw her it was lunchtime. She looked up and followed us with her eyes. The eyes! They were the same shades as the fox. I felt her being drawn to our table. Edward was irritated. "I can't read her!" he whined. I was shocked yet very, very, intrigued. The moment Edward took her to our home and she laid her eyes on me I felt the same feelings wafting of her. We met secretly after that. I was jealous beyond anything when she was dating Edward. But when we met up on the days the others went hunting I didn't care. Edward only though he was the first to take her running. It wasn't true. The first time was with me when we went up the mountain. The fox stayed away that day. Bella and I shared something entirely different from what I had felt with Alice. She loved me like there was nothing else in the world. More than Edward I knew. She lusted after me. The strange thing was that I felt the same things but I also wanted to protect her from getting harmed. When her birthday came around and she cut her finger I wanted to go over to her and to take care of her. Edward thought I wanted to eat her! He attacked me and evoked such a great anger in me I snapped at him. I felt everyone their anger towards me, which made mine even more prominent. He had hurt her more than that scrap of paper had done and I couldn't comfort her because she belonged to him. But then one heavy emotion crashed into me and I caught her eyes. She was scared for me. I was causing her to panic, I stopped.

The nest day Edward the jackass decided we should leave. Two weeks after he left I returned. She welcomed me back with open arms. I had divorced Alice. She had understood. She had known. We were still good friends and cared for one another but it would be a while before she could be totally comfortable with me. When Edward returned Bella told him what had happened and Edward strangely enough accepted it. Not so much as two months later he was dating Alice.

Now 10 years later Bella and I are still very much in love. We have a little daughter called Renesmee. She was a miracle, something Jacob black agreed on. The family is back in forks again and Bella is one of us. We are one big happy coven. I never slipped up since I met Bella. I came close a few times but Bella supported me and thus I pulled through. Bella taught me everything I needed to get back to humanity. She changed me for the better and I owe her my existence. The fox I never saw again but it didn't matter. The haunting eyes ceased when Bella came into my life. I never believed much in destiny before I met her. Now she is my life now and I can't bear it to be without her or my beautiful daughter. We are a family and those people, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Alice and last but not least Bella and Renesmee, gave me the peace I longed for so much. I have seen a lot of suffering in my life but they made it all worth it.

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**Well this is my entry I hope you guys like it******


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